Monthly Archives: April 2012

Hard livin’

We’re paying off a major debt this year and, as a consequence, living kind of hard. How hard, you ask? You know Great Value, WalMart’s knock-off generic brand? Well, we’ve discovered that Great Value has a knock-off generic brand: Clear Value.

Rough stuff, people, rough stuff. When you’re hoping the pancake taste drowns out the syrup, then you know you’ve entered serious territory.

Note, also, that like Keyser Soze, Clear Value has spent time in Skokie, Illinois.

Hard livin'

We’re paying off a major debt this year and, as a consequence, living kind of hard. How hard, you ask? You know Great Value, WalMart’s knock-off generic brand? Well, we’ve discovered that Great Value has a knock-off generic brand: Clear Value.

Rough stuff, people, rough stuff. When you’re hoping the pancake taste drowns out the syrup, then you know you’ve entered serious territory.

Note, also, that like Keyser Soze, Clear Value has spent time in Skokie, Illinois.

To be a Buddhist in the West

“Many writers ignorant of Asian history – particularly, for some reason, anti-religious science writers – also claimed that Buddhism lacked the history of atrocities and intolerance that marked Western religion, despite, for instance, the many Buddhist-inspired messianic revolts in China, or the deep complicity of Zen Buddhism in Japanese militarism during the Second World War.  … To be a Westerner and call oneself a Muslim, or even a Hindu, makes some definite statement about your beliefs and perhaps your actions; calling yourself a Buddhist in the West, however, does not define your identity in any fixed way.” 

– James Palmer

Me, writer with kids

This is what having kids is almost never like.

The money quote: “I may be blaspheming the Holy Writ of The American Church Of All-Consuming Parenthood but I’m going to say it anyway: I’d be a better writer without kids. But so what. I only learned what love was when I held that little baloney loaf for the first time. Love is nothing if not sacrifice. No words I’ll ever scribble will hold a torch to that.”

The rest is over at Cari’s Luna’s place.  She did me a solid and interviewed me about being a writer, with kids. Have a read, leave a comment.

Along the white road

From The Tartar Steppe:

Drogo was suddenly overcome by sleep. Meantime, that very night (had he but known it he might perhaps not have been inclined to sleep) that very night time began to slip by him beyond recall.

Up to then he had gone forward through the heedless season of early youth – along a road which to children seems infinite, where the years slip past slowly and with quiet pace so that no one notices them go. We walk along calmly, looking curiously around us; there is not the least need to hurry, no one pushes us on from behind and no one is waiting for us; our comrades, too, walk on thoughtlessly and often stop to joke and play. From the houses, in the doorways, the grown-up people greet us kindly and point to the horizon with an understanding smile. And so the heart begins to beat with desires at once heroic and tender, we feel that we are on the threshold of the wonders awaiting us further on. As yet we do not see them, that is true – but it is certain, absolutely certain that one day we shall reach them.

Is it far? No, you have to cross that river down there, go over those green hills. Haven’t we perhaps arrived already? Aren’t these trees, these meadows, this white house perhaps what we were looking for? For a few seconds we feel that they are and we would like to halt there. Then someone says that it is better further on and we move off again unhurriedly.

So the journey continues; we wait trustfully and the days are long and peaceful. The sun shines high in the sky and it seems to have no wish to set.

But at a certain point we turn round, almost instinctively, and see that a gate has been bolted behind us, barring our way back. Then we feel that something has changed; the sun no longer seems to be motionless but moves quickly across the sky; there is barely time to find it when it is already falling headlong towards the far horizon. We notice that the clouds no longer lie motionless in the blue gulfs of the sky but flee, piled one above the other, such is their haste. Then we understand that time is passing and that one day or another the road must come to an end. …

Some days will pass before Drogo understands what has happened. Then it will be like an wakening. He will look around him incredulously; then he will hear a din of footsteps at his back, will see those who awoke before him running hard to pass him by, to get there first. He will feel the pulse of time greedily beat out the measure of life. There will be no more laughing faces at the windows but unmoved and indifferent ones. And if he asks how far there is still to go they will, it is true, still point to the horizon – but not good-naturedly, not joyfully. Meanwhile his companions will disappear from view. One gets left behind, exhausted; another has outstripped the rest and is no more than a tiny speck on the horizon.

Another ten miles – people will say – over that river and you will be there. Instead it never ends. The days grow shorter, the fellow-travellers fewer; at the windows apathetic figures stand and shake their heads.

At last Drogo will be all alone and there on the horizon stretches a measureless sea, motionless, leaden. Now he will be tired; nearly all the houses along the way will have their windows shut and the few persons he sees will answer him with a sad gesture. The good things lay further back – far, far back and he has passed them by without knowing it. But it is too late to turn back; behind him swells the hum of the following multitude urged on by the same illusion but still invisible on the white road.

– Dino Buzzati, The Tartar Steppe

If you don’t feel this way about your hometown at 17 likely there’s something wrong with you. If you still do at 37, there definitely is.

Wasn’t the question you asked me
It wasn’t the answer I gave
That made me feel like I was on a train
Was a distant voice
Made me make a choice
That I had to get the fuck out of this town
I got a lot of things to do
A lot of places to go
I’ve got a lot of good things coming my way
And I’m afraid to say that you’re not one of them.

Last time I was there
You were out on the couch
Pressed into a little electric 2
It was the way that you smiled
Made me know at once
That I had to get the fuck out of this town
‘Cause I’ve decide to make a stand
And I’m not gonna take your hand
I’m taking the next bus outta here, I’m gonna head for Box Elder, M.O.

If you don't feel this way about your hometown at 17 likely there's something wrong with you. If you still do at 37, there definitely is.

Wasn’t the question you asked me
It wasn’t the answer I gave
That made me feel like I was on a train
Was a distant voice
Made me make a choice
That I had to get the fuck out of this town
I got a lot of things to do
A lot of places to go
I’ve got a lot of good things coming my way
And I’m afraid to say that you’re not one of them.

Last time I was there
You were out on the couch
Pressed into a little electric 2
It was the way that you smiled
Made me know at once
That I had to get the fuck out of this town
‘Cause I’ve decide to make a stand
And I’m not gonna take your hand
I’m taking the next bus outta here, I’m gonna head for Box Elder, M.O.

This Is Pulp X – Little Bill & English Bob in The Unforgiven

Dialogue’s a deal-breaker/maker. No surprise, then, that this little clip contains possibly my favorite line ever about my home state:

Hell I even thought I was dead, ’til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.

 

Submissions remain open for the Special Pulp Issue at PANK until 7/1. Hit me!